Lost
by Avatarmikasa
Summary: There last battle, Eren realizes what's really important to him and what his true goals are, and he'd give anything to make them come true.
1. Chapter 1

This would be it.

This was there last mission, the one that would decide what their fate, as humanity was.

There last battle.

Through all this time fighting, getting to this point, a certain brown haired boy had grown to be about 23 now, along with his fellow comrades that he was so thankful had not fallen victim to the horrid titans mouth. But he was especially thankful for his two best friends Armin and Mikasa. It wasn't till lately he had realized how much of an ass he's been. They've been with him this whole time right next to him and he's treated them as shit. Especially Mikasa.

The titan sifter wanted to go back in time so badly to take back what he would say and stop him-self from neglecting her. It was amazing, he thought, that after all this time she stayed by his side. Following him even into hell and never looking back.

It wasn't till he understood her motives for wanting to be with him that he saw her differently then before. He had always thought whenever she did something for him it was to repay him of a debt she could never repay, until he realized how much she cares about him. HIM! Everything she did was too keep HIM safe and ok. Not some shitty debt.

He'd been such an idiot.

After that, he'd realized even more so why he was fighting in this never-ending war, what he wanted after he had killed all the titans. Was to see the world he never could before, by her side. He had realized that's what was really important and he was going to stop at nothing to make sure his dream came true.

Eren wasn't really much a religious person. He sure as hell was never part of the titan or wall worshiping cults. But, he did believe in God. On the night before the mission, thinking of everything he's lost, gained, suffered, loved. Sleep had found everyone else in the room, but the brown haired boy knelt down before his bed and prayed. He prayed for his friends, for his mom, for there success, for his success, and for her. He prayed that if anything keep her safe and alive. Tears falling like river has he heard a faint creak, as if someone was standing only a few feet away from him. Breaking his trance he looked over to the direction to find a tear-covered face belonging to a certain raven-haired girl he'd known for so long now.

"Mika..sa" he said just below a whisper.

Both where surprised, Eren knew what she came for though.

He quickly but soundlessly wiped his tears clear and got in his bed and held the covers open for her. She snuggled herself in him as he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry.

He knew what it was; the terrors of there past never truly escaped them. But it wasn't till later that night when her crying had settled down she asked "Hey...you awake?"

"yeah" "are you ok?"

"what do you mean?"

"you didn't look ok when I first came in"

"oh...yeah that...you saw that?"

"your going to be ok right?"

"yeah I was just praying"

"for what?" Mikasa asked already knowing the answer, it's what they're all praying for.

"Success...Life...Freedom."

"oh" she said barely audible feeling sleep take over.

"you..." Eren managed to get out at a level only Mikasa could hear His eye's drifting shut he felt her move closer too him, if that was even possible.

After 3 days on the battlefield, on the land where they stood, humanity was now free...

Eren was departing from his titan form, to be greeted by his ecstatic best friend Armin who was shaking and crying and rambling about everything and anything all at the same time helping him out of his evaporating titan body. "Mikasa...where's Mikasa..." The shifter said over Armin still enjoying how happy his friend was, until the blonds face filled with a bittersweet taste.

"Eren you've been in your titan form for almost 3 days now...a lot has happened..."

"I get that but Armin where's Mikasa?!" He was now growing impatient and worried, she's Mikasa she can't die... she was humanity's strongest solider...she can't be...

"Eren she disappeared on the first day...nobody's seen her for 2 days."


	2. Chapter 2

Eren collapsed on his knees in shock. Filled with so many emotions one moment then feel numb the next all the boy could get out was a weak "w-what".

After a few moments of looking helplessly into his friends blue pools the titan shifter managed to ask "What do you mean she's missing when did you last see her?! She was right next to us the other day was she not Armin?"

"I..I.."

"this means nothing, none of this means anything where finally free the day we've dreamed of since kids was she the cost?"

Eren kept on and on in circles refusing to believe the undesirable news, until Armin put a kind hand on his shoulder breaking him from his trance, though unable to hide tears of his own. "Eren. Listen to me, It'll be alright the fact that she's lost means there's still hope. There are search parties everywhere looking for survivors. They'll find her."

Eren nodded "Your right, I just need to trust that she's alive. Can you give me a minute? Please Armin."

The blond understood and mounted his horse "Don't move from this spot though, Levi will probably be looking for you." And with that he was off.

Eren scurried to his feet, like hell he was going to stay there, Mikasa needed him and she's never turned her back on him. Never.

He ran aimlessly through the blood-covered forest, the stench of rotting body's invading his nose. He prayed, prayed that she was safe, that the titans where really gone, that all his friends made it out, that he would never have to transform again…he prayed most of all for her though. Every ounce of his being wanted no more like _needed _her to be alive. What was life like without her? The titan shifter wanted no part in a life like that.

**Thump**

Eren found himself looking at vertical trees and a pain on his face, before he realized he'd collapsed from peer exhaustion. He had never recovered fully from the transformation.

All he could do was lay there motionless; the hope of humanity had finally lost his hope.

He cried.

What else could he do he was powerless, a person so precious to him, was gone no goodbye no warning nothing.

Gone.

He remembered her tell him once, Thank you, for wrapping this scarf around me.

What a fool he was.

He should've thanked her, he shouldn't have pushed her away so much, and he should've wrapped the scarf around her with love and care.

He cried out the part of him that was consumed by her, he was truly powerless.

Alone.

Desperate.

Empty.

Free.

"Jeager."

Immediately Erens eyes got wide at the recognition of the clean freaks voice, he didn't move a muscle though.

"What the hell Jeager everyone has been looking for you. Hell even Jean was getting concerned."

Through salty tears and a shaky throat "Sir, M-Mikasa?"

Levi knew right away the situation. He couldn't bring himself to tell the boy they've given up on the search parties, as they've found no survivors. And that she's been officially listen as lost in war.

Instead he reached in his pocket to reveal a small envelope with Eren in beautiful cursive on the back. Levi placed the letter down next to the boys face "I know sadly what you're going through Eren. I wish I could do more but, she gave that too be awhile back. Said if anything where to happen to her she'd haunt me for eternity if I didn't give it too you."

The short Akerman mounted his horse "Eren I'm sending some nurses to come get you, your body's still recovering don't you dare move shitty brat."

Eren showed no reaction.

Levi turned to leave on his stallion, muttering a soft, "I'm sorry." Before taking off.

Eren couldn't accept this reality but he willed up the courage to open the letter. Hoping that whatever was incased in the letter would lead him to her.

_Dear Eren,_

_Authors note: _Wow I haven't posted in a long time and it's actually really nice writing again! Originally this was just going to end with the mystery of the first chapter but thanks for the people who commented asking for more here you go 33 Chapter 3 will be up in a few days thank you for reading 3


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Eren,_

_If your reading this…I wish you weren't. I wish I could be there with you and I wish I was still fighting. But I guess I lost…I didn't win and now your reading this, I'm truly sorry I could never say this to you. I said it once but I wanted to say it again when we weren't fighting, but I suppose that was just wishful thinking. _

_Thank you._

_Thank you Eren._

_Thank you so much._

_I wish I could show you how grateful I am to you and that you saved me when I was a child and continue to do so. I wish I could apologize in person but my feelings are strong, which brings me to something else I could never work up the courage to say…_

_I love you._

_Eren Jaeger I am in love with you._

_I always have been, ever since you wrapped this scarf around me you are my hero, my inspiration, my everything. I didn't know what this feeling was until just recently actually, Armin saw right through me one night when we were fighting. He was comforting me and said the way I feel isn't that towards a brother, nor is it obsessive, or shallow. It's love. And he helped me understand that. _

_I just wish I could have told you in person. _

_Please apologize to him for me, he always supported me and helped me but I could never help him as much as he would help me. I hope he lives a good peaceful life._

_Also please apologize to Levi and the rest of our comrades, there strong people I hope they made it out alive. _

_But lastly, I want to apologize to you, Eren. I'm sorry for being such an annoying adopted sister, for punching you that one time, and for not helping you when you've needed me most. _

_I hope you can forgive me and live a peaceful life._

_Love,_

_Mikasa Ackerman _

Eren was shaking by the end of the tear drenched letter, how could she be so selfish and write that?! If anything _he_ should be thanking_ her._

He wanted to scream from the top of his lungs that he was in love with her that she was his everything without her he was nothing.

But all he could do was cry and sit there and look at a beautiful paper in a broken mans arms.

He couldn't accept this.

After all they've been through there's no way he could accept this.

The hysteric boy got up slowly and began his never-ending search for his lost love again.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren, going through the archive of her in his mind tried to recall a time when she wasn't here, when she wasn't right there next to him nagging him, caring for him, loving him.

He couldn't even tell what was surrounding him let alone have a meaningful thought.

The night slowly started to overtake the lost boy, and exhaustion well.

He wouldn't' give up though. Not now. Not after what has happened what will never be.

He had gained it all, all the freedom of the world but lost the world all in one day. He was coming up upon a lake he settled down by. Knowing the search party would make there rounds looking for him, he considered walking into the endless blue with no return.

The thought quickly escaped his mind when he heard something.

Everything in him stopped, his heart, his breathing, everything.

"hmmmmm"

The small sound coming from the left of Eren made the light and color flood back into his eyes. "M-Mika-sa…?"

The sound was a microscopic amount louder but still, it was louder. He rushed up from where he was and traveled to the sound.

Only to find a small birds foot trapped under a branch in the mud by the lake.

As quickly as the light had filled his eyes they left. He freed the little red bird and watched it fly away, the full moon lighting its path in the sky.

Once the bird was out of sight, he laid on the cold mud and waited for the search party to find him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mama Mama Mama!"

"Oh my, haha what is it Eren?" The mother said sweetly to her son who jumped in her arms.

"Mikasa and me are playing hide and seek but I can't find her anywhere!"

"Really? Well have you found Armin yet?"

"He's looking too!"

"Well that's strange isn't it?"

The small boy sat in his mothers lap with a lost expression on his face not knowing where else to look.

"hmm I'll tell you what, do you know where he favorite place is?"

"Down by the river mama! She always picks flowers down there!"

Without his mother even saying anything he jumped up and ran out the door, the man was on a mission.

When he got down there he looked everywhere, there was absolutely no sign of her. A bit of fear started to take hold of him, what if stupid men like before took her? Or what if something bad happened to her? Quickly he shook away the thoughts, she probably just went into town for something, and she'll be back, she will.

He laid down by there favorite tree exhausted from searching for the raven haired girl.

…

"Eren…..Eren…Eren Wake up Eren!"

"Hmmmmm why Mikasa just let me sleep" the brunette said turning over.

Until, he realized.

Quickly, he whipped back to face the person trying to get his attention. Before him he saw someone he thought he never would again, a girl with raven black hair a broken arm, blood on her forehead, clothes tattered, a red scarf. The most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

"Eren why did you sleep on the mud? Are you all right? Did we win the war?"

He was speechless. All he could do was reach out and hug her, holding on for dear life.

"E-Eren….."

"Shhh it's ok I'm so sorry…I'm so so sorry for everything I've said, for being so shitty to you Mikasa I'm so sorry you mean so much to me please don't ever leave Mikasa please"

She could feel his tears on her shoulder as she wrapped her good arm around him.

"I should be saying that to you." She said allowing tears to fall.

He pulled back allowing there foreheads to touch.

"Eren you didn't-"

"I read the letter"

She looked down she couldn't face his eyes. He put his hand behind her head.

"Mikasa I'm an idiot." He said right before kissing her, There lips like puzzle pieces finally being put together.

"I love you Mikasa, I really do." Eren breathed when there lips parted.

Mikasas eyes blurred with emotions "I love you too Eren"

They both giggled together

"It only took me 10 years to figure that out" Eren said feeling whole once again he picked up Mikasa bridal style.

Nuzzling noses Eren said, "Come on Mika, lets get you home."

"I already am home."

The End.

Thank you so much for everyone who read this all the views and favs really mean a lot to me thank you so much! 33


	6. Chapter 6

For the one who requested a sequel/prequel

3 Years had passed since the war. Victory had not come easy by any means and humanity was still over coming the effects of such a horrid event in history. But everyone was so much happier, so much more relaxed. Walking down the the market on a nice sunny day smiles could be found in every corner and not just from kids.

Eren realized he loved this so much. Walking through town with Armin, listening to his bizarre theories about inventions that without knowing the man, he'd say where crazy. The survey corps disbanded. They're now the peace corps, Erwin, Levi and Hange all retired and are living comfortably while Eren, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie, and Mikasa run the different sections of the peace corps. Armins head of the science department, Jean the 3D gear/ weapons department, Sasha the food department, Connie the recruiting department, and Mikasa the fighting department. While Eren is the leader of the group.

While Eren walked with the excited blond, he realized he'd never been happier in his life. Everything just seemed good…no more then good everything seemed beautiful. There was just something he was missing…

"….Armin?" Mikasa said aloud behind her desk, lips in the ghost of a smile.

"You caught me!" The blond came out from behind the door with a fit of giggles.

"Your just in time I just finished, what's up?"

"This might sound a bit crazy…but trust me on this one ok?" Armin said with a big smile earning a confused expression from the girl.

"Ok…."

He was nervous, the brunette had to have rehearsed this at least a thousand times in his head. But what if something went wrong or he stumbled or lost his voice or the titans came back. The shifter took a deep breath. This was Mikasa anyway, no matter how many times he practiced he'd just forget everything as soon as he saw her face.

And there she was, in that blue dress that they both loved so much, blindfolded and laughing with that smile that he got to see so much of after the war ended. Being pulled by his best friend.

"How much longer Armin?" She asked at the boys' irregular pulls and tugs

"Where almost there!" He replied trying to hide his giddiness.

They came too a stop in from of Eren, and Armin undid the blindfold on the girl and stepped behind them joy filling his heart at the sight of his two best friends.

"Eren…?" The raven haired girl breathed, they where at the same place she found him 3 years ago. When they where reunited after the war. Her heart filled with the sight of the man in front of her as he got down on one knee. And breathed the words…

"Mikasa…Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" His eyes where filled with joy and life and love. This was the missing piece in his life.

She couldn't find the right words… she couldn't express the emotion or amount for anything she felt. So she dropped down to the boys' level and in a tight embrace whispered…

"Yes."


End file.
